parent-teacher trauma

2002-11-15 - 4:37 p.m.


My poor poor Nora -- I just went to her parent-teacher conference

I'm feeling more and more like a dork at these things, aging person that I am. her teacher -- a very nice guy -- is probably in his thirties, not married, no kids.


She's pretty much like I was -- very very shy. Her social studies teacher is worried about her -- why is she so bored? Her math teacher thinks she's doing well. Since teacher thinks she's not doing as well as she could be. English teacher things she's doing well --

She's just who she is. She's not the type to pipe up, until you've known her for a while.

I'll have to talk to her, and to all her teachers, and see if it can't all get sorted out.

I think she'd better go to a small high school, or if to a big one, to one that has a special track for the smart kids, which she will have to be in, so that she is around the same 7 kids all day long so she'll feel comfortable, and her teachers will know her.

Basically, though, he had nice things to say about her.

Part of it, I think, is that she has not yet realized that how she does depends to a large degree on how hard she works. If she stdies for a test, she does well. if she doesn't, she doesn't.

Why should she care about this? Well, I'm all for a person being intrinsically motivated to work, and I sort of think people are. But there's a lot to be said for extrinsic motivation as well. If you get good grades, you have a lot more options. Grades are a standard for you to measure yourself against. If you're a smart kid, with nothing else going on, if you work hard, you should get good grades, and if you don't get them, it probably means you weren't working hard enough.

I don't think people are ever sorry about working too hard. I know from personal experience that they can be sorry about not working hard enough.

So -- there you have it.

But it takes a while to figure that out. I think she is figuring it out, though.

Now Maddy is a whole nother story --

Okay. Got to go.


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find me! - 2008-02-12
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where I've gone - 2008-02-01
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