Angst regarding summer
2003-04-03 - 9:58 a.m.
Here are the things I'm thinking about:
1. We're going skiing this weekend, and then thank god we're not going anywhere until summer. Spring break is coming up, and I will have to work -- and send the kids to daycare -- but there won't be homework, and we can move and paint and garden and clean. I think it will be exceptionally great, and I am SO HAPPY that we're not going anywhere. Often, around this tiime of year, we get roped into going to Arizona to visit my mother, who is there visiting my grandmother. And it is nice there -- there's a pool, and shopping, and various bickering relatives. But it will also be great to stay home. Hooray.
2. Speaking of summer -- I don't think we're going to Ireland, although I haven't heard anything. Kevin's dad is not feeling up to it. We could go by ourselves, but I don't think Kevin wants to. I mentioned that we might want to think about doing something for that week, and he moaned and groaned, which makes me think he would rather just hang around at my parents' house. Which is fine -- we usually don't have enough time, and then trying to see friends becomes problematic because my mother doesn't want us to go anywhere. Regarding his family, I sort of feel torn. I always feel guilty that we don't see them enough, and then I try to arrange something, and then I feel annoyed that it's always me who has to arrange something. So this time, I sort of feel like, fuck it. If they want to do something, they can call me. (We always go there -- they never come here. Ever.) But I know I'll break down and we'll drive up to their house. Maybe we can do something different and go to the beach or something, or they can come down and we can go to Martha's Vineyard or something. Part of the problem is that they don't have much time or money. (Like I am rolling in both those things -- hah.)
Anyway -- maybe we could combine a trip to their house with a trip out to Cape Ann or to Maine to do geneaological research.
I also sort of feel like I arrange all these things, and perhaps people don't want them arranged. Two years ago I arranged a family vacation and I think everyone felt sort of oppressed. But this New Years we just told Kevin's parents that we were visiting, and then Kevin's brother showed up and that was fine. I felt less responsible. Maybe I'll call Kevin's mother and tell her -- we're doing this then. Then if people want to come along, fine, and if they don't, also fine.
3. This leads into another topic that I wasn't thinking about, but now I am -- the worry of the parent that 11 and 13 year old grandchildren can't possibly compete for cuteness with 2 and 4 year olds, and the resulting sadness. Nora and Maddy are spending two weeks alone with my mom this summer -- so that's good. But I sort of worry that, because they don't see each other all that often, both sets of grandparents are sort of less close than they used to be to the kids. I suppose kids of a certain age have a reputation for prickliness, but I actually think that's pretty over-rated. They aren't prickly if you hang out with them. Anyway -- should I ever have grandchildren I intend to visit them as often when they're 10 as I did when they were 2. They're not as cute, but they're actually quite fun.
4. I think next summer we should plan a trip by ourselves -- like biking around the North Sea.
5. I'm still liking American Gods.
I think that's it.
Oh. 6. I'm getting a haircut this afternoon. I have haircut issues. So this will just be a boring haircut. But I'm steeling myself up to call a real place and get an appointment. Don't ask. It's ridiculous.
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