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Tuesday
2003-09-23 - 11:14 a.m. "What it is, is, it's impediment-building." Heard in the hallway, coming back from the cafe with my cup of tea AND a chocolate muffin. I can eat a chocolate muffin since I rode my bike to work. Yay me! Hmmm. What else. Nora started thinking, maybe, about private high schools. I'm pretty sure we can't afford that -- Hmmm. I'm trying not to have an impediment-building attitude. Actually, I'm sort of having a crabby attitude. But not a bad crabby attitude. More sort of an impatient crabbiness. Like I don't feel like putting up with a bunch of crap. Like, I don't have time for that. Like, you want to be a moron, go right ahead, but don't expect me to participate, because I have other things to do. It's kind of a refreshing way to feel, but it does mean -- well, I'm not quite sure what it means. It has certain ramifications for social interaction, I guess, although I have been lunching successfully with people. It seems to have the effect of making me glad I'm not them. I think at heart I'm not actually a very nice person. I mean, I'm not exactly mean. I wouldn't go out of my way to do something mean to anyone. In fact, I really wouldn't do a mean thing to anyone on purpose. And there are definitely people I like -- I'm just sort of inclined to think people are idiots. Oh oh oh -- I had a dream last night. This morning, actually. A branch was scritching against the house, and kept waking me up. I cut somebody's head off, so I guess I was a murderer, or then, possibly, it was someone else who did it, but I was protecting them, so I dug it up, but then I had to find a place to hide this head, which was in a plastic bag. At first it was with another bag full of rotting fruit, and I was carrying it around outside -- in some woods, in a national park -- something like that -- looking for a place to bury it. As the dream went on, it became smaller, until finally it seemed to be only a fragment of bone in a plastic bag, that I could stick in my pocket. I still needed to get rid of it, though. And Kevin reminded me last night that we will have been together for 25 years as of some time in October. Amazing, huh? Okay -- got to go. Bye.
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