2005-10-31 - 11:17 a.m.
Twopeople have commented on the issue of "does N. want to get caught/does N. not want to get caught." It's an interesting question, really. B. (E.'s mother) and I know about some of what's been going on because we spy on N. and E.'s friends' m*y*s*pace pages. Which is possibly wrong, but on the other hand, it's not like N. doesn't know that I know her friends have these pages. My feelings are slightly mixed because I think to some extent these pages are meant to alarm, and I worry that I may get sucked into the (natural) drama. Still, I think they're a good indication of what's going on. Also, O. and S., whose parents might be accused of being completely blind to the point of negligence, are the most open in their pages. Which does indicate that they might actually wish they would get caught.
Anyway -- whenever we do catch N. in the act of some terrible thing, I always DO get the feeling that she's actually relieved. And it's also not like we then just yell at her and ground her. It's usually the opening for some kind of conversation (about how, for instance, it's probably not a good idea for a 15 year old who values her brain to get too involved in drugs, or how a person who seems to want to go to a "good college" (her words, not mine!) might want to think twice before skipping school.) And honestly, I do think she is always relieved to have these conversations.
Interestingly enough, there was an article recently in the local paper by a boy who was incensed that his parents had read his m*y*s*pace thing. He closed the article by saying that it was much better now that he and his parents could actually talk about whatever he'd been writing about. Hmm.
I do think there is some argument, though, for letting kids make mistakes. I certainly did. N. is pretty independent, which means she really likes to try things for herself.
Hopefully this counselor will help K. and I find some kind of balance.
With any luck --
design by simplify.