2007-06-25 - 1:28 p.m.
Everything seems right on the verge of tragic, and I'm not sure why.
I'm guessing because it's summer, and we usually got to MA, but this year N is going to Spain.
And then she'll be a senior, and then she'll leave.
Which is all as it should be, but still --
And M is growing up, too.
It's kind of huge, actually. You get sucked in to having them make up most of the fabric of your life, and then they go away. I think N thinks I spend to much of my life being of use to people, and I certainly do spend a lot of time doing just that.
It's interesting to remember being that age, and thinking about how I was going to organize my life as a grown-up. I'm sure she's looking and my life and sniffing.
Except I like gardening, and cooking for people -- some times.
I think, just as a preemptive measure, I need to find more people to go to the movies with. And I think we need to go camping the weekend of July 20, since that's the only time we'll have to do something together as a family.
Those family things often end in disaster, but it's a necessary sort of disaster.
Also, I'm reading A Brief history of the dead by Kevin Brockmeier, which I'm liking a lot. This weekend I finished The Thunderbolt kid, by Bill Bryson. Quite funny, although I think he could have done without the Thunderbolt Kid gimmick, and also, really, the historical stuff (but interesting, harriet because it was about the 50s. And I finished Julia Glass's The Whole World Over. Total Maeve Binchy, with a sort of interesting family thread.
The weather has been lovely, and I have been working in the garden, and we've been having people over for dinner, which is nice, except that N thinks that it's a weird thing to do. She thinks it's weird to invite families over for dinner, because then you end up having sort of superficial conversations. Better, she thinks, to have your best friend over and have real conversations.
Yes, except my best friend lives in Rhode Island. And, although these people aren't my best friends, I still like them.
I wish my best friend would come to visit, though, because then we could have real conversations and we could also cook and also go to the beach. It would be really fun and I miss her.
Okay. Got to go.
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