Happy New Year!
2008-01-02 - 1:28 p.m.
So. Happy nEW yEAR.
We celebrated Christmas, which was nice. We went to Pittsburgh. Also nice. We came home and celebrated New Year's. And now it's the New Year.
M is in the living room watching Moulin Rouge. N is still in bed, but had better get up. I amd considering a)laundry b) finally organizing the kitchen/pantry area and c) buying some food. Hmmm. Perhaps the last is the most vital, but I think I should probably shower and get dressed before attempting it.
Pittsburgh was nice. I like K's family -- they are probably more fun to hang around with than my family. Or in any case, fun. Plus, I really like Pittsburgh.
I'm feeling slightly groggy. I think I have some kind of migraine that's affecting my vision. I spent all of yesterday on the couch watching the Gilmore girls. I went to bed late, but then woke up early with K. I'm feeling better, but still not completely right. N and M have the week off, but I'm worrying about their homework. (Why? Good question ...) Now I've been browsing around the computer all morning. Ugh. Time to get moving.
We're trying to figure out Xmas for next year, and I just don't see how it's going to work. N will get out sometime around the 15th, and need to go back around the 7th. I though we could go to K's brother outside of Boston either at one end or the other, but M probably won't get out until the 20th (so going early would cause her to miss a week of school, and probably a week of tests) and going late would also cause her to miss a week. Hmmm. Maybe late is the better option. The Bostonians will probably already be back in school, though. Maybe something including that last weekend.
It is exciting to think of N going off. Also, it's exciting that she'll be in New England, which means we'll have more reasons to visit.
That's all good.
K's mother lives near a fancy shopping street in Pittsburgh, and one of the things we do is to walk down and shop for things after Christmas. We got M a new ipod, and some jeans, and N a few sweaters (because she'll be in Maine!) and stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate. And a dress for M. It was on sale, and not expensive, but M was hesitating, and N said, "It's good to have a nice dress -- you never know when you'll need it." I'm sure I've said exactly the same thing to her. Somehow I love to hear N offering sensible and useful advise to her sister. It cracks me up, but it's also very sweet. It's often advice I've given N and thought she'd disregarded.
I think N and M are growing closer as they get older. They were really close when they were little, and then less so thoughout elementary and middle school, but now seem more so. I think it helps that M is growing more confident as she gets older. It works bets when she's not worrying about what N thinks of her. And it's nice for N to be able to offer advice, etc. I think it makes her feel more confident. She's convinced M (for the moment, anyway) to join the diving team with her this spring. It would solve the PE requirement problem, which would be great. Plus, I think it would be good for M.
Anyway. All this is neither here nor there, but I think I'd better get moving.
Okay ... here I go --
Oh. K's mom. She's always been a worrier, but since K's dad died several years ago, she's been at times completely paralysed with worry. She knows it's absurd. I think she hates it, but she just can't help it. I know she loved having us, but I also know it was a huge occasion for worry. Flights, car rentals, dinner appointments, museum tickets, meeting for meals -- all of it a huge occasion for worry. K was talking to her about some financial stuff. she is completely set, financially, but that is also still a huge worry for her, plus a huge source of anxiety since she's always taken care of their money and enjoyed doing it, but now feels that she's not up to it -- online banking distresses her because she doesn't feel up to learning a new thing, which also reminds her that she's losing her faculties. And that, I think, is the real source of her worry. She's afraid that she'll end up like her friend Sarah, living in some assisted living faculty and not even sure why she's there. She's worried about getting old and dependant and addled.
So that's something to think about. It's hard, because she's not my mother, and they're all opposed to medication in principle, but it seems to me that some anti-anxiety medication might be a big help. I think if she could just stop worrying, she'd see that she'd actually fairly un-addled, which I think really is the case. The best evening we had with her was the night after we'd finished all our museum visits, and were eating the last of the catered dinners. The only appointments remaining were the flight out, and those were a few days away. She was happy and relaxed. There are pictures, and she looks like her old self. N and M noticed it too.
It didn't last. The next day we had to worry about getting ourselves and our presents to N's house for dinner, and packing up to leave the next day.
I'm sure she's better when we're not around to worry about, but I know she misses everybody, too. It just seems like a less than satisfactory way to live.
Oh well. Now it's 2. Got to get moving.
design by simplify.