2007-06-28 - 10:47 a.m.
All right. Here's this song.
N's going off today for the first part of testing for a learning disability. I have violently mixed feelings about the whole thing. Reasons to do it: If she does have one, better that we know. If she doesn't have one, better that we know. It's kind of interesting anyway. Reasons against: I feel like we're quibbling with what we've got, and somehow sending her the message that there's something wrong with her. With M, it was really finally a relief. It explained why things had been hard for her. With N, though, it's not so clear -- I have a feeling that she actually knows more than is reflected in her grades, and a learning disability could be one reason for it. Well, another reason against doing it is because I don't want to think of myself as one of those crazy parents. But the -- educational therapist, I guess is what she is -- assured me that I'm not crazy. "I've seen crazy," she said.
I mean, if it turns out that she's just not as stunningly brilliant as I've always though, well -- that's fine. It's stupid to even say this, of course, but I really do just want her to be happy. I don't want her to think -- oh, we were actually longing for a much smarter child.
On the other hand, the educational therapist said that she never discounts the intuitions of mothers (not the crazy ones). So -- better to check it out.
I really don't understand why her grades aren't better. It's like she fundamentally does not get what exactly she has to do to get a good grade. It's usually pretty clear, and not that hard. I mean, obviously you have to be able to write a decent paper, or understand some mathematical concept, or -- you know, get the subject. But beyond that, it's usually a matter of dotting i's and crossing t's, and that, I think, is where she falls apart. That, and maybe not taking half an hour the night before the test to go over everything carefully.
Anyway. Perhaps it will uncover to us the murky depths of her mind. It did with M --
Anyway -- that's all I've got.
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